Shit My Brother Says

"Life’s a bitch, so fuck it like one."

— Inspirational quotes from David

"No thank you, negro."

— Chris Brown showed up on the TV shortly before he changed the channel

"Oi, you white cunt!"

— Not entirely sure what he was directing this to, or why

"You’re a fucking negro. Can you please pass me a spoon?"

— Swinging between extremes, a bit

"Hm… yeah, I guess I’d put it in her bumhole."

— An attractive woman appeared on TV.

"This song makes me MOIST."

— I don’t know what the song was, but he liked it.

"What if the Titanic was a conspiracy to get a good story?"

— The most ridiculous conspiracy theory I’ve ever heard to date.

"So I’m part aboriginal, now."

— David played a didgeridoo today.

"I’ll fuckin’ molest you."

— Gettin’ mad.

"… and we were hell devo, so we took sad photos on our phones."

— Document everything.

"Can I show you? Say yes. Please say yes. I don’t care if you say no, you’re seeing it. I just wanna look pretty for once in my FUCKING life!"

— He got a new shirt. A really nice shirt.

"The islam religion is very interesting, and complicated."

— I swear his personality is schizophrenic.

"I’m gonna go to the Riften jail and fuck a nigger!"

— David plans his next trip in Skyrim

"And IIIIIIIiiiIIIIII… will ALLLLLWAYS…. Smoke weed ‘erry day!"

— David pays tribute to Whitney Huston